Are you pregnant yet? When are you going to have another baby? When is the boy coming? Don't you want to give Sidney a boy? The infamous questions I get asked over and over again. Four years ago when I had my beautiful sweet Ava I was done. I was over the idea of ever getting pregnant again and today almost fours years later my feelings have not changed, not even a little teeny bit. No baby fever here folks!
I wanted to talk about this today because I feel like there is this unspoken expectation, rule, or standard, that women's purpose is to pop babies out for the hell of it and quite frankly I'm sick of it. I love my girls so freaking much, but do I want another child, hell to the nah! And do I feel bad about that? Hell to the nah! People have literally said to me that I have to try one more time to give Sidney a boy (as if I'm in control of the sex of the baby or of the amount babies I may have). What if I ended up with twin girls, what then? Are those same people going to be up with me for night feedings? Are those same people going to be there to change poopy diapers every 7 to 10 times a day , or potty train? Better yet are those same people going to help me push those hypothetical twin girls out? I don't feel incomplete without a third child or a boy and I don't feel bad for not wanting one either. It's my body at the end of the day that has to make the sacrifice ALL around (yes I said sacrifice because being pregnant, giving birth, or breast feeding is not easy for a lot of women). Being pregnant isn't sunshine and rainbows for a lot of women and neither is motherhood. Postpartum is a real thing. Depression is a real thing. Pregnancy complications and death are real things. These are things that a lot of women contemplate before having having kids along with losing our bodies (yes kinda superficial, but still very valid and not easy).
At the end of the day it's your body and it's your family dynamic. If you wanna pop out 5 - 10 babies by all means do you sis (and more power to you), but if you don't then that's totally okay too. The point I am trying to make is that we are capable of more then bringing babies into this world. Yes that is a huge superpower that we have, but it isn't our only one. Yes babies are a blessing, but they are not our sole purpose for existing. Yes I am a mother, but mama got to have a life too. A life outside of diaper changing and smelling like breast milk 24/7. After birthing two babies I deserve some me time.
Now that my girls are older and are both about to be in school during the day time, I get to have a little piece of time back to myself. Time to focus my energy on whatever it is I want. I deserve that. And for anyone in a similar situation you deserve that too. If you want to get a spontaneous mani pedi, you can. If you wanna go back to work full time after being a stay at home mom for years, you can. If you want to take a romantic getaway for a week with your boo without worrying whether the amount of breast milk you left in the freezer was enough, you can! Don't let anyone make you feel like you have to have a baby or multiple babies to be fulfilled especially if you're not ready or just don't desire to. Your body, your choice. You are in control. Stick to your guns and eventually they will come around, lol. I'm still waiting though, lol.